Almost shattered.

When contemplating ones emotions with respect to ones true soulmate, one needs to ask “Do you want to be so different from that person?” OR “Do you wish to actually be identical to that person, and be a part of that person, in every single way ?”

You may try to think negative thoughts and block the thought or possibility of your soul mate, but once you have met him/her, you will be “driven crazy” inside for him/her as indication of your deep inner eternal spiritual love for your true soul mate – “the half of your soul”.

I hope things can be simpler. Apparently in reality its not. I totally agree with this jewish teachings about love, but when problems web up like a mind map, there’s no exit or way out. All dreams about the future would seem so uncertain.

My heart cries out for you last night. Its so painful to know that this is happening to someone so close to me. I can never understand what you have been through and how you are feeling right now, cos i’ve finally admitted to myself that, we really belong to two different worlds. You are strong despite all these; but i … cant accept the truth.

I need to think hard, really hard.

A fulfilling life?

These few days i realized a BIG change about myself & my life.

Im no longer my ex-self; instead, im someone who neglects all the little things in my life. I overlooked them and became so careless & negligent. For example, few days ago, i had very bad dandruff and went to mum for help. She gave me this medical formulated shampoo which supposedly helps to cure my dandruff problem. I used it once and find it really good. While i was washing my face yesterday, i realize i had the exact same shampoo on my shelf which i used few weeks ago, also for the same purpose. And yet, i had no clue at all that it was lying there all along. Instead of just using that shampoo, i got another one from my mum and she has none left. All in my little toilet. Stupidly, when she gave me the shampoo in the original box, i placed it inside the shower room, only to realize that it was all wet after i showered. Which really makes me feel dumb enough.

It seems like i had NO TIME AT ALL plus NO MEMORY SPACE to  bother about all these things which i used to keep myself occupied with. Things like putting mask on almost every part of my body. As long as they retail it outside, i will try them. Or even time to figure out what to wear for school, these days i simply dont bother. Facials seem like a luxury now too.

I confided this with Jiaming last night over the phone. And he tells me i should feel glad. This is a fulfilling life. I should feel contented that my life is now so meaningful and full of commitments. Is it really so? A fulfilling life. I need a 2GB memory space to manage MDS and A+ patience to help my demanding Father run all his errands and 100% concentration for SMU.

My dear JM said many would LOVE to be in my position. At least i have a purpose right now. Little do they know what i’m going through everyday and all the problems i have to solve. Taking a deep breath doesnt seem to help too. I appreciate his consolation, it sorta help me figure out my thoughts for a while. BUT, the next day, im stressed up again. Everyday is like a vicious cycle and all the little things in my life are unknowingly disappearing for good.

Life is all about trade offs. Want a fulfilling life? Be prepared to give up alot more.

Finally!

Yup finally, the fruits of our labor is out.

Check it out @ www.mdscollections.com 

Its been a long dayyyy. TIRED. But happy & satisfied.

Thanks for all the lovely comments from everyone! Worth all the hardwork!

Running out

Racing with time, people and myself.

Perfectionist, as usual.

People, mark 20th Sept down. Its SHOWTIME!

Horrified experience

I just came back from facial @ Jean Yip. Not the usual outlet that i’ve been patronizing since i was 17 yrs old..but at whitesands. Gosh. A super horrified experience. The lady who did my face..SHE IS SUPER ROUGH!!! #$%^&* My poor face…skin already so thin, under her hands i think my skin almost tore lah. Its one of my worst facial experience man. Completely tarnished the almost perfect image of Jean Yip in my eyes. If anyone wanna sigh up any facial packages from Jean Yip, they are good…BUT, pls dont go to the whitesands 1. Really, different outlets have different standards. After this time, i swore not to go back there again.

I dunno is it becos’ of her size..she’s kinda plump, so i dunno why..somehow she exerts alot of FORCE on my face as compared to my rivervale mall beauticians(they are petite to normal size). Extraction was excruciating. Even a simple task like cleansing my face, my hair got almost all wet. ARGH. Massage wasnt any bit enjoyable and relaxing too. She massage my face as if she’s massaging my BACK. The amount of force used on both areas IS THE SAME. : (

Worst of all…when it comes to removing my mask, she did a poor job at cleansing again..with all the white stuff still stuck on my face & neck. And she stupidly applied sebum control on my entire face. Sebum control is supposed to CONTROL OIL..and she didnt even ask my skin condition(which is T zone oily, cheeks dry)..she just apply the whole face including my cheeks. Seconds later..i couldnt bear the stinging pain on my cheeks so i ask her to wash off. SEBUM CONTROL is supposed to be applied on my FOREHEAD & NOSE only. ARG.

Im really particular about my skin, especially when im paying a hefty price for this package. Facial is supposed to be enjoyable for me; today’s experience was the total opposite. I wonder how someone who use SO MUCH FORCE on a delicate face can be a beautician. Its like making some dough…instead of doing facial. Oh, at this moment, my face is still red from the force lah. I still gotta put my cooling sea collagen mask to fight off the redness.

dearest.

I wanted to post this entry at my old blog 3 weeks ago but always cant seem to find time. Finally, on a monday afternoon, raining heavily outside, at 3pm when im “supposed” to study for my take home test(Entrepreneurial mgt) tmr, im taking pics and writing this post.

During Jiaming’s 23rd BIRTHDAY…like the word suggests, it was his birthday yet i received prezzie from him. I knew he was going to give me something..but i totally had no clue what it was. Until he walked into my house with a HUGE board with lotsa pictures. It was a collage he put up for me. Ok, girls are usually suckers for this kinda stuff…at least for me, i felt rather touched by his ‘work’, especially when he’s so busy with mds and school. I appreciate it alot, thats why until now the board has been lying nicely on my white muji carpet. The little details on the collage really makes me feel that this guy understand me alot and how he takes on such an important role in my life.  Im amazed by his creativity; how he managed to make the collage filled with our memories and time together, yet at the same time, with a sense of humor in it. Read the small small details linked with each movie theme and u will know why.

On top of this really sweetttt collage from him, he gave me my vintage casio watch which he bought while waiting for the uncle to finish printing this huge collage. Sometimes he really leave me speechless with his actions…its like what more can i ask for. Sometimes i will feel like strangling him when he piss me off with his blunt words. Maybe thats wad love is all about, the extremes. And guess which is my fav from all the movie themes? Definitely not Gay Returns. haha. I love “Quill” the most. Cos my vicky is inside too..and cos i heart this movie. All dog lovers should watch this show at least 3 times man. haha cos thats wad i did. Another one i like is Pursuit of Happyness…cos we look really bliss and happy inside.

Hmm..back to books. argh. zzzzzzzz