I did something which i think i should, but in his eyes, i should not.

Ever so endearing.

Its been almost 3 weeks since my grandpa passed away.

But I miss him so much, almost everyday. The saying is indeed true. When someone is alive, you will tend to take that person for granted. But when hes gone forever, you will regret that you should have valued his presence more.

Many times a day his smile and facial expressions i remembered will remind me the fact that he’s gone. And following that, emptiness set in. I dont wish to say out explicitly but until now, im still feeling the grief.

Today I have an urge to cab down to Mandai crematorium and look for my grandpa. Its weird how recently whenever i feel lost, confused and tired with life, i will wanna seek refuge in memories of him, instead of reality.

I desperately need a personal retreat ALONE.

Saw Batam spa packages, tempting.

Saw the new boutique hotel at Bukit Timah, Quincy, lovely place.

Anywhere but not my house, office and shops. Anyone but not my boyfriend.

A brand new year is coming, but why do i still feel so sulky about everything around me? This role that im leading in life, just doesnt suit me.

People need to have choices, so what’s mine then? Face up to reality and realize there is no choice left for me.

Yes, i was that delighted to earn that day OFF on Boxing Day!!!

Wore stuffs that I bought awhile ago. Finally i have the mood to wear new clothes and not leave them lying all over my room.

And even happier because I got time off to SHOP at 313 with Angelyn(though F21’s range disappointed us hella’ lot), drinking & chillin’ out at Dempsey with FABULOUS company!

From strangers to becoming our model & her bf becoming Joe’s close buddy to finally, becoming one of our closest friends, what more can i ask for??

I’m so looking forward to our May trip to HK…though I cant really count how many times I went already. Its the people i’m going that matters!

Thats us chillin’ out at Harry’s & gossiping abt everything under the dark moonlit!

5 MORE DAYS TO A BRAND NEW YEAR 2010!

I just listed down my NY Resolution to my bf, cant wait to share!

Juggling with 2 retail outlets & 1 office is no joke matter. Opening this new outlet has led my life into total chaos.

Which i’m struggling to manage it well.

Keeping to a good balance of everything is even more difficult to achieve now. Sounds easy to other people, but my favorite pastimes like shopping 3 times a week, meeting my gfs for coffee, keeping my old vicky company, spending time with my family & bf seems like the most difficult task in contrary to work.

Like everyone says, i also wish i have more than 24 hours a day to meddle with.

And at some point in time, you get so busy till you just lost yourself. And lost the vibe to pursue what you want in life before all these chaos. This is happening to me right now and i think its real sad. Doing fashion is my life-long interest and has always been what i want to do in life. But doing business is not. So when you try to combine both together, you realize its impossible to just do what you love. At the same time, in the course of doing business, you are forced to undertake scopes that you wont even consider if you are just an employee. Simply put, i’m lost.

When responsibility grows larger, to the point that whatever I do has a direct ripple effect on tens of employees under me, I will end up putting my woes aside and do what i’m supposed to do instead.  My sense of responsibility is killing me.

Im not cut out to be a businesswoman. Neither am I an entrepreneur. But my capable other half is. He’s my idol at work, seriously. The most passionate & hardworking guy i’ve ever seen, comparable to my dad. Maybe thats why he’s my bf & business partner. Everyone attributes mds to me, business, success, expansion. But little did they know the real man behind the scene is my partner, not me. Oops. Im there to give him my support, ideas & opinions. He is the one who grasps hold of the entire company’s operations, SOPs, systems, organization chart & expansion plans, while we execute them together. Amazing guy, really. Sometimes at work, especially recently, i cannot look at him as my boyfriend anymore, but a professional business partner whom i can really trust. I told him i wanna be his employee instead and work under him without so much responsibility, like he’s the director and i’m the manager sort. He’s the real boss!

In mds, i wanna be a 100% products person. Doing fashion with my designer & talking fashion with my creative officer. Besides products, i dont want to think about anything else.

2010 is approaching and i hope my life will clear up quite a bit by then. The business must be stabilized by then before i can move on with my own life, otherwise i cant just walk away like this.

We are finally open tomorrow!

Goodness, these 3 months of pure hardwork has finally paid off. Saw the shopfront and i totally love the simplistic decor and superb functionality. Not too fanciful but classy.

Be sure to come down & support ya!

Plaza Singapura, #B1-34

MDS

Nitey.

If someone ask me whats my biggest regret till now,

my answer will definitely be 12.08.09 when I couldnt get to see my Grandpa for the last time. I couldnt call him ah gong and I couldnt bid him farewell as he left this world. Everyone else were by his side but I was in China doing business. I couldnt be back in time to say my last words to him.

All for business, but I’m heartbroken with the fact that because of work, I had to compromise so many things dear to me. My Grandpa had to appear in my dream to say goodbye to me on Monday night. It was all so real…until now, my dream images are still crystal clear in my head, its almost like premonition dream that tells me he is leaving us.

Yesterday when i laid my eyes on his body lying in the white coffin, i still couldnt accept the reality that he’s gone forever. Perhaps its because I missed the last moment of saying goodbye to him in the hospital where he struggled for the final time. I just couldnt be there, at his deathbed. The moment i’m back home,my mum broke the news to me over the phone and I cried like mad. So the dream was true.

A random thought:

I cannot comprehend the so-called middle age adults’ world & thinking. When you get wealthy and too obsessed with money(but you have tons of them), you will put aside kinship and what is really important at this moment. Grandpa’s just gone and some people have already started their nonsense. Are we filming some sort of long and draggy Taiwanese drama about family conflict over wealth, properties & status? I am so glad i’m not part of this whole affair and never want to be part of it. All I really wish for is to see my living Grandpa one more time before he left. Love seeing him smile, cos his smile is contagious. Forever so cheery & loving.

I cannot comprehend my Grandpa’s funeral whereby almost none of the service content was about him. Almost nothing at all. No reminisces about my grandpa’s life and his likings, it became like a christian service. Entire premise was fully borne by my Dad and uncle and it was like making use of the premise to hold a service instead of holding my Grandpa in memory.  Sad.

Really felt sad. But what can I do? I would love to share all the photos we took together and the video I had on his last birthday.

Cny 2008

Old family portrait, times when all of us stayed together.

Ah gong’s birthday this year.

I hope my grandpa is now happy in heaven, unlike the dream he gave me when i was in China.

Im selling away my long abandoned branded bags! Please dont try to bargain with me too much, im really trying to clear these bags so the prices stated are already very very cheap. Thanks, appreciate it.

Photos & details as promised!!(Im stealing some time away from work to do all these…my bf kept nagging at me. bleah!)

1. Burberry’s Checked Nova tote bag which I bought at Taka Burberry for $800.

Details: 13″ by 9″ with 1 front compartment, 1 inner A4 zip compartment, 2 open pockets & 1 smaller zip compartment.

Able to fit A4 documents.

Overall Condition: 8/10 (minor discoloration at the back of the bag, not too obvious)

SALE PRICE: $450

2. Gucci’s bronze tote bag which I bought at Changi Airport for $960. SOLD!

Details: 16.5″ by 9.5″ with 1 open compartment

Able to fit A4 documents. Easy to match, goes well with everything!

Overall Condition: 9/10

SALE PRICE: $600

3. CK’s black leather tote bag which I bought at Wisma Isetan for $300.

Details: 16″ by 12.5″, 2 front back compartment, 3 inner open pockets & 1 zip compartment

Able to fit A4 documents. Made of grainy calf leather. Looks almost brand new! Good for work.

Overall Condition: 10/10

SALE PRICE: $180

4. Burberry Wallet which I bought at Airport for $180 during sale. SOLD!

Details: 4.5″ length by 4″ height with button coin compartment, 8 card slots

Made of Burberry fabric print & genuine calf leather.

Love this wallet’s classy design.

Overall Condition: 9/10

SALE PRICE: $100

5. Kate Spade royal blue patent tote bag which I bought at Raffles City outlet for $600. SOLD!

wa lao, my fringe looked so gone…pardon this ugly photo.

Details: 15″ by 9″, 1 zip compartment(inner), 2 open compartments(inner) & 2 side open pockets, polka dots bag lining

Made of Patent leather & nylon. Fits A4 just nice. Pretty polka dots inner lining which matches really well with royal blue. One of my fav KS bags!

Overall Condition: 9/10

SALE PRICE: $380

Interested, please either leave a comment here indicating which bag you would like to purchase or email me at geo@mdscollections.com.

Kindly note that I can do meetups near my house at Changi or office at Duxton Road. Postage also can. And only cash is accepted upon meetup! No bidding required, to prevent too much hassle, i’ll just sell to whoever confirm and pay first.

Thanks for your support!

Watched the much raved about movie Twilight 2 at TM but wasnt to my expectations at all.

Ending was too sudden and ended abruptly with a wierd line, “Will you marry me?”

First one was so much more interesting, at least you could see vampires fighting amongst each other. Whereas this time round, there wasnt any climax or exciting fighting scenes, just some emotional conflict Edward had with himself and so many love scenes.

Anyways, i had my hair done again! Hehe! Dyed my hair cold brown. According to my stylist, it will make my fragile hair look healthier and make me look fairer. Haha. With these 2 plus points, how can I not color?! If you wanna look fairer, go for cold brown shades! It really works!

On a random note, because of a close family member’s terminal illness, I told myself to live my life from the happiest angle possible and be optimistic about all sorts of madness around me. Theres no point being unhappy, dissatisfied and getting angry over small issues. I should curb my anger and not let it affect me. Because life is short and I should live it the way i want it to be. No more fretting over small little things and put stress on my tiny body.

When I’m less busy, go for holiday trips.

When I’m busy with work, enjoy working and be in control.

When I’m attached, enjoy every moment spent with my man.

When I’m home, shower love to my dearest Vic.

Looking at how vulnerable life is, there is really no time to waste feeling unhappy about things all the time. I dont have to be a perfectionist at every moment to feel that my life goals are accomplished. And I shouldnt ask for more when I already have the sweetest lover in my life.

Sometimes, learn to appreciate the imperfections around you because they may be the most beautiful things closest to you.

I’m dead tired from sale preparation!

Soooooooo many items on sale! The shop racks are collapsing, barely enough to house all the clothes!

Its ultimate clearance sale, everything must go!!!!

Since its PH tomorrow, do drop by if you have the time I will be there till late noon before i head elsewhere!